In Chuck's interview, he mentioned Dr. Albert Ellis' list of five main unrealistic desires or beliefs that cause anxiety. So, I tracked down the list. It has definitely given me something to think about! Here is the list:
- The desire always to have the love and admiration of all people important to you. This is unrealistic because you have no control over other peoples minds. People can have bad days, can see things in odd ways, can make mistakes, or can be plain disagreeable and awkward.
- The desire to always be thoroughly competent. This is unrealistic because you only achieve competence at a new level by making mistakes. Everybody has bad days and makes mistakes. One of the benefits of training with better athletes is that you can see them making mistakes and having bad days too.
- The belief that external factors cause all misfortune. Often negative events can be caused by your own negative attitudes. Similarly your own negative attitudes can cause you to view neutral events negatively. Another athlete might find something positive in something you view as a problem.
- The desire that events should always turn out the way that you want them to and people should always do what you want. Other people have their own agendas and do what they want to do.
- The belief that everything that has happened in the past will inevitably condition and control what |will happen| in the future. Very often things can be improved or changed if you try hard enough, or look at things in a different way. (all credit for this list goes to Dr. Albert Ellis)