Dr. Albert Ellis on Five Unrealistic Desires or Beliefs

In Chuck's interview, he mentioned Dr. Albert Ellis' list of five main unrealistic desires or beliefs that cause anxiety. So, I tracked down the list. It has definitely given me something to think about! Here is the list:

  • The desire always to have the love and admiration of all people important to you. This is unrealistic because you have no control over other peoples minds. People can have bad days, can see things in odd ways, can make mistakes, or can be plain disagreeable and awkward.
  • The desire to always be thoroughly competent. This is unrealistic because you only achieve competence at a new level by making mistakes. Everybody has bad days and makes mistakes. One of the benefits of training with better athletes is that you can see them making mistakes and having bad days too.
  • The belief that external factors cause all misfortune. Often negative events can be caused by your own negative attitudes. Similarly your own negative attitudes can cause you to view neutral events negatively. Another athlete might find something positive in something you view as a problem.
  • The desire that events should always turn out the way that you want them to and people should always do what you want. Other people have their own agendas and do what they want to do.
  • The belief that everything that has happened in the past will inevitably condition and control what |will happen| in the future. Very often things can be improved or changed if you try hard enough, or look at things in a different way. (all credit for this list goes to Dr. Albert Ellis)

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have been living with HIV/AIDs for twelve years. My body is a cauldron of toxic chemicals. I finally realized axiety and stress were hurting me a lot. So, I started to do relaxation and meditation. I found Jesus Christ, my saviour, when I was diagnosed. But I never connected my body to my belief in Christ. Now I see the need to connect mind, body and spirit.The "flight or fight" part of my brain was on for twelve grueling years. I called it survival mode. Coming out of that is a work in progress. But I will replace survival mode with relaxation mode.
June 23, 2011 at 2:22 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Best Relaxation Music

I have mentioned that I love "Liquid Mind" music but I haven't mentioned any others. On my computer, I have several artists that are almost as good as Chuck's music. My second favorite is Deuter. His work is fantastic. Not all of it is soothing so check it out first. I also really like Aeoliah's music. I discovered Aeoliah, on Amazon.com where you can find tons of his work for cheap! I am not kidding. I downloaded several CDs for less than $2 (the CDs were two tracks long, about 30 minutes each track. Amazon only charges .89 or .99 a track!!!). I am a firm believer in the healing power of music and would like everybody who is looking for music to relax or even to meditate with, to check these artists out. My favorites of "Liquid Mind" ...all of them. They are all fantastic. My favorites of Deuter : "Buddha Nature", "East of the Full Moon", "Koyasan Reiki Healing", and "Earth Blue" (honorable mention goes
Read more

Panic Away VS. The Linden Method

In this post, I want to compare two products that I found to be helpful. However, one of them was very helpful while the other one only slightly. The way I look at it is that any help is worth the money but then again, if you can get all the help you need (or most) from one program it sure isn't a bad idea to save some money. My first attempt at downloading a program was Joe Barry's Panic Away . The advice was good for helping me deal with the panic attacks directly but did little for the general anxiety (feeling anxious from dawn till dusk). Panic Away comes with an e-book that is about 151 pages. It does a pretty good job of describing what anxiety is and the different types of anxiety. His method is then summed up in a 7 minute recording called "One Move", where he helps you deal with a panic attack while it is happening. It also comes with a year of counseling (phone in or email). This is all very helpful, but for me, it wasn't enough. I need to ment
Read more

Hypnosis Recordings

I have been collecting hypnosis recordings for a while now. For someone that is anxious, simple meditation can be very difficult because thoughts are already out of control and sitting still is just asking for trouble. I have found that guided meditations or hypnosis can be very helpful at replacing the negative self-talk and allow me to relax. Some of them are great and some are just Okay and some can be horrible. In this entry, I will review some recordings by Dr. Emmitt Miller, Doreen Blumenfeld, Belleruth Naparstek, and Kimberly Miles. It is vitally important that a hypnosis recording satisfy several specific requirements in order to be effective. I have found that if a hypnotherapist has an irritating voice, I won't get anything out of it. I have also found that if they use ridiculous analogies or ask you to visualize something that goes against your personal beliefs (I personally find overt Christian imagery outdated and offensive). So, after purchasing many hypnosis p
Read more