Looking at the Past, Looking Toward the Future

How many things did I try before I finally gave up?  I probably need to add at this point that I was forced to quit searching outside of myself because I was running out of money!  I went to psychiatrists who prescribed several different medications that were supposed to help me but I eventually became addicted to Xanax.  Wow, getting off of that was tough but it's been more than a year since I have taken any.  I had to have a doctor's help because it was dangerous to go off of it cold-turkey.  I also spent a fortune on books that I just knew would have the answer.  I have boxes of them.  I am not saying that all of the things I tried and all of the doctors I visited didn't help.  What I am saying is that searching outside of myself was giving away my power.  This is a struggle every day.  It feels as if the fear is just at arms length and that I could be overwhelmed again at any moment.  The answer, for me, is allowing it.

I have an image that I carry with me of opening myself up, like window shutters, and allowing the fear in.  Resistance was what gave the fear the energy to continue.  The greater my resistance, the stronger the fear.  I allow it.  I wouldn't say I welcome it but I let it in.  I let it be.  I find that I might have a scary thought but before you know it I am distracted by a bug or my dog, Sophie Mae, and the fearful thought is gone.  That is the nature of the mind.  It is always changing.

I have recently started studying Tibetan Buddhism because Buddhists really "get" the nature of the mind.  They have studied it inside and out and have some wonderful advice for dealing with "run-away" thoughts that if you latch on to, can make you miserable.

More on meditation later...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Best Relaxation Music

I have mentioned that I love "Liquid Mind" music but I haven't mentioned any others. On my computer, I have several artists that are almost as good as Chuck's music. My second favorite is Deuter. His work is fantastic. Not all of it is soothing so check it out first. I also really like Aeoliah's music. I discovered Aeoliah, on Amazon.com where you can find tons of his work for cheap! I am not kidding. I downloaded several CDs for less than $2 (the CDs were two tracks long, about 30 minutes each track. Amazon only charges .89 or .99 a track!!!). I am a firm believer in the healing power of music and would like everybody who is looking for music to relax or even to meditate with, to check these artists out. My favorites of "Liquid Mind" ...all of them. They are all fantastic. My favorites of Deuter : "Buddha Nature", "East of the Full Moon", "Koyasan Reiki Healing", and "Earth Blue" (honorable mention goes
Read more

Panic Away VS. The Linden Method

In this post, I want to compare two products that I found to be helpful. However, one of them was very helpful while the other one only slightly. The way I look at it is that any help is worth the money but then again, if you can get all the help you need (or most) from one program it sure isn't a bad idea to save some money. My first attempt at downloading a program was Joe Barry's Panic Away . The advice was good for helping me deal with the panic attacks directly but did little for the general anxiety (feeling anxious from dawn till dusk). Panic Away comes with an e-book that is about 151 pages. It does a pretty good job of describing what anxiety is and the different types of anxiety. His method is then summed up in a 7 minute recording called "One Move", where he helps you deal with a panic attack while it is happening. It also comes with a year of counseling (phone in or email). This is all very helpful, but for me, it wasn't enough. I need to ment
Read more

Dr. Albert Ellis on Five Unrealistic Desires or Beliefs

In Chuck's interview, he mentioned Dr. Albert Ellis' list of five main unrealistic desires or beliefs that cause anxiety. So, I tracked down the list. It has definitely given me something to think about! Here is the list: The desire always to have the love and admiration of all people important to you. This is unrealistic because you have no control over other peoples minds. People can have bad days, can see things in odd ways, can make mistakes, or can be plain disagreeable and awkward. The desire to always be thoroughly competent. This is unrealistic because you only achieve competence at a new level by making mistakes. Everybody has bad days and makes mistakes. One of the benefits of training with better athletes is that you can see them making mistakes and having bad days too. The belief that external factors cause all misfortune. Often negative events can be caused by y
Read more